Blind date
by nocloudypooh
Summary: "Um sensei, are you actually my blind date?" she timidly asked. "It appears so," Kakashi deadpan. "Um, right." Came the awkward reply. "So, what are we going to do today?" In which Naruto and Kakashi joyously pranked the people who thought it was a good idea to set them up on a blind date. [fem!Naruto x Kakashi] -oneshot


Some notes/disclaimer:

This is a fem!Naruto/Kakashi story, to be clear. Hilarity ensues, along with some very mild swearing. And if you want it, you can really squint and find some Shizune/Gai.

 _italics represent emphasis_

* * *

 **Blind Date**

Naruto stood in the dressing room of one of the largest boutique in Konoha, modelling for Sakura and Ino who have all but dragged her away for a shopping trip.

"Alright, you just need to turn up tomorrow and everything will be perfect!" Sakura gushed, turning Naruto around in the pretty red dress that she had just tried on.

"But Sakura-chaaan!" Naruto wailed. "I really don't want to do this," she pouted, fiddling with the hem of the red dress petulantly.

Ino swatted her hands away from the dress. "Stop that, you'll ruin the dress. Besides you promised, you don't want to go back on your word now, do you?"

Naruto gave the two girls a glare. "That's because you didn't tell me that it was a blind date that I'm agreeing to!"

"Details, details," Ino waved away her concern.

"Now, go change out the dress so we can pay for this," Sakura ordered.

"I hate you both," Naruto grumbled as she turned back into the changing room.

"Love you too, Naruto," Ino sang sweetly.

"You think this will work?" Sakura asked Ino quietly, once Naruto had disappeared out of sight.

"I don't think. I know this will work," the blond-haired girl stated confidently. "Those two are made for each other."

"If you say so," Sakura replied, not looking too convinced.

"Of course, nothing ever fails in this Yamanaka's matchmaking services."

...

Naruto walked apprehensively into the restaurant that she is meeting her blind date, clad in the pretty red dress she had tried on for Sakura and Ino the day before, and a pair of matching heels. She let her eyes roam across the establishment, hoping to get an inkling of who her blind date is. A shock of silver hair caught her attention, and she had a sneaking suspicion she know who exactly her friends had set her up with. With a resigned sigh, she walked apprehensively towards the occupied table.

"Um Kakashi-sensei?" she timidly asked the tuxedo-clad man.

Kakashi turned towards the voice. "Naruto," he greeted, taking in the sight of Naruto in girly clothes, before shooting her a sharp look that she understood too well.

She fidgeted uncomfortably under his intense stare. "Um, are you actually my blind date?"

"It appears so," Kakashi deadpan.

"Um, right." Came the awkward reply. She sat down. "You look nice," she began awkwardly, grasping at straws for a conversation starter. _'What do people talk about on blind dates anyway?'_ she thought frantically, mind turning up blank.

Kakashi eyed her once more, his eyes taking in her red dress, then her heels to the light make-up on her face. "You look nice too," he said dryly.

Naruto swallowed nervously and fought not to squirm in her seat. "Sooo, what are we going to do today?" she asked, hoping to change the subject.

Kakashi gave her a look. "Well, since our friends have so generously arranged the day for us, I though we should reward them for their effort by enjoying ourselves to the best don't you think?" he said, waving a hand to call a waiter over for their orders. "What would you like, Naruto? I hear that the steak here is good, with beef bred and imported from the beautiful mountains of Kaminari no Kuni? Or perhaps some seafood from the lovely Nami no Kuni?" He eye-smiled at Naruto.

Naruto gave a small huff of relief and smiled brilliantly at her sensei, glad that the tension had finally dissipated. Her eyes twinkled in amusement at his suggestion, reflecting the mischievous (and evil) glint that showed in his eyes. "How about a little bit of both? It's so rare that we get to come to such a restaurant, so I'm thinking we should get a full course meal, don't you think, sensei? Ooh the foie gras and caviar looks nice, let's get us some of that!"

"Of course, Naruto-chan. We'll order everything that you want until you're satisfied."

...

"Put that on the reservation's tab please," Kakashi told the manager, before strutting out of the restaurant with Naruto in tow.

"Now what, sensei?" Naruto asked as they exited the restaurant.

"That's a surprise, Naruto-chan," came the cryptic answer, as Kakashi whistled merrily on the way. Naruto blinked but after a mental shrug, followed anyway without questions.

He led them to his apartment, pushing Naruto in before the door closed with a snap. "Now, strip and change," he commanded, hands reaching out to loosen the tie on his tuxedo, while Naruto looked at him with wide eyes.

...

(Some time later...)

"I can't believe this!" Ino whispered-yelled from the trees. "Who the hell goes sparring on a blind date? What's wrong with your teammates, Forehead?"

"Don't yell at me, Ino-pig! Kakashi-sensei and Naruto will hear you!" said teammate hissed back.

"I do not see what is wrong, beautiful blossoms of Konoha," a green-clad shinobi answered, much less exuberant than usual (but still pretty much like what normal people sound like, when they are _not_ hiding in some trees). "My eternal-rival and his student must have had a most youthful meal and have decided to prove their Springtime of Youth with a most youthful spar, as the leaves of spring can only grow and nurture if they are well-nourished. My hip and cool rival must have seen the youthfulness of spring in young Naruto-san, for the Will of Fire burns brightly through their spar!"

Sakura and Ino glanced at each other sideways, and they fought not to roll their eyes at Gai-sensei's most youthful but horribly unintelligible speech.

"Perhaps you are right, Gai-san," Shizune commented from the other side of Gai. (This time, Sakura and Ino did raise their brows, because how could anyone have understood anything under all the garbled youth speech?) "Those two are good for each other. But Ino-chan is right too, it seems like this matchmaking is not working as well as we like. The lunch seemed to have been a good idea, but perhaps we need another plan to make sure that Kakashi-san and Naruto-chan will go on a proper, sparless date."

"Well, I'll just have to threaten or blackmail the two of them with something then. Come, we have work to do." Ino declared, leading the other shinobi out of the training grounds.

"Yosh! We shall come up with the most youthful plan that will cause the Springtime of Love to blossom between my eternal rival and his most youthful student!"

"Shh!" Sakura hushed, throwing nervous glances back at her sparring teammates to make sure that they have not been overheard.

...

"They're gone," Naruto said, dropping down into a relaxed stance the moment she sensed the matchmakers leaving, no doubt to conjure up more match matchmaking plans.

Beside her, Kakashi let out a relieved sigh and plopped down on the grass, uncaring of how graceless he looked. For a moment, they laid down in silence as they tried to catch their breath from the short but very intense spar, until Kakashi broke it.

"You did not tell me that you were going on a blind date," Kakashi accused, turning to give Naruto a glare with his lone exposed eye.

Beside him, Naruto sputtered indignantly at his accusations. "Well you didn't tell me either!"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at her. "Who were you thinking of wearing that red dress for then?"

Naruto flushed. "It's not like I wanted to wear it! Sakura-chan and Ino-chan forced me to wear it today!" She turned her head away and mumbled, "Besides, I still wore it for you in the end, didn't I?"

Kakashi grunted, appeased at her reasoning. "Good, because I would rip the other man to shreds if you didn't."

Naruto reached out to smack him for the comment, trying to look annoyed but failing terribly at it, causing a look of adoration to light up on Kakashi's face even as he rubbed the sore spot on his arm.

A comfortable silence enveloped them once again. This time, it was Naruto who broke it.

"So... How long do you think they will take before they figure out that we are together already?"

Kakashi grinned visibly under his mask. "Maa, I hope they don't find out soon. I rather enjoy watching them run around like headless chickens when their plans for matchmaking fail so terribly."

Naruto laughed in response, her eyes full of mischief like a true prankster at heart. "So what do you want to do for the next blind date then?"

...

(Omake: in the Hokage Tower)

Tsunade eyed the four ninja standing in front of her carefully, her hands interlocked under her chin. "So, how did it go?"

"It was the most Youthful Date, Hokage-sama," Gai said, visibly shaking from excitement and joy. "My Eternal Rival seemed to have enjoyed the most Glorious time with his dear student today," he smiled, showing off all of his pearly white teeth.

"Besides the fact that they went sparring during their date," Ino scoffed, the disdain clear in his voice.

"A spar?" Tsunade questioned, turning to her apprentices for an explanation.

"Hai, Shishou. Kakashi-san brought Naruto-chan back to his apartment after the meal, but they left shortly after for the training grounds for a spar," Shizune replied dutifully.

Tsunade groaned and rubbed her forehead in frustration. "Those stupid gakis," she muttered under her breath. "What's your take on this, Sakura?" she addressed out loud.

Sakura hesitated before voicing out her thoughts. "Honestly, Shishou, I feel that there is something odd about the two of them. I agree that they are good for each other like everyone else here, but I can't help but feel like we're missing something important."

"Pfft, you're just afraid of what your teammates would do to you if they ever found out your involvement, Forehead," Ino replied dismissively.

Before Sakura could retort a reply though, Tsunade interjected her. "Enough. I want you four to set up something with the two of them soon. Try not to rouse their suspicion or it will all backfire. Keep me updated."

"Hai, Hokage-same!" four voices replied.

...

In the wake of Tsunade busy drinking sake and not paying attention to paperwork, while her helpful assistants were busy plotting some matchmaking plans or another, the bill for a certain restaurant (and multiple other bills) slipped by without anybody noticing until a looong time later, when the accounting department does their regular checks and audits. Needless to say, Tsunade was not happy when she hears that, leaving behind a crying Gai, a frustrated Shizune, a resigned Sakura and a really really pissed off Yamanaka. Because nobody ever mess with this Yamanaka's matchmaking services.

* * *

A/N:

I had a blast writing this - in fact the main portion of the story (the funny part, I called it), was written in between spurts of getting stuck **Dressed like a girl**. It took multiple edits to get this to something I like for some really lighthearted humour, and I hope this made you smile as well because I never stopped smiling every time I read this.

This marks the end of the "trilogy" of V-day specials of fem!Naruto/Kakashi that I had in my head. We had Kakashi chasing Naruto in **14 years older** , Naruto chasing Kakashi in **Dressed like a girl** and finally everybody else trying to get them together here. It's a nice little collection in my head, and I'm pretty happy with all of them. I'm overwhelmed with the positive responses from the last two stories, so I will probably go back and add some bonus to the other stories (I've got some ideas in my head). Not too much, but some little bonus because you guys seem to love it some much.

I hope I did a good job doing Gai speech over here - it's my first time and I honestly don't know how to go about presenting it. Any comments, suggestions and help from you would be appreciated.

I've got some Itachi/fem!Naruto in my head but that going to be a while in the making because it's probably going to be long (and epic) and I want to iron out more details before I embark on it. So there, I've dangled some carrots on a stick for you. Review and favourite to let me know what you think, I really appreciate it because it really give us authors and very positive boost. Until next time.


End file.
